The Bottom Line of Resilience

Young people will be resilient when the important adults in their lives believe in them unconditionally and hold them to high expectations.

Unconditional belief is not blind acceptance.  It means that we are not going anywhere and our love is a constant stable force from which children can draw security and confidence. Parents know better than anybody all of the wonderful  traits a young person possesses  - warmth, humor, caring, idealism, loyalty, passion.  You were there as  these traits first became evident.

When we speak of “holding a child to high expectations,” it does not refer to demanding high grades or athletic excellence, although it is reasonable to expect a good effort. Rather, It is about always expecting your child to live up to the core values and essential goodness you know lies within.  Children who know their parents always see the best within them will live up to those expectations.

Building Resilience

Building Resilience in Children and Teens offers strategies to build the seven crucial “Cs” — competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control — so that parents can raise authentically successful children. This invaluable guide also offers coping strategies for facing life’s inevitable stresses. Kids who have healthy strategies in place may be less likely to turn to dangerous fixes to relieve stress. This book from The American Academy of Pediatrics is about building strong, enduring relationships, preventing worrisome behaviors, and raising children who are poised to thrive and lead us into the future.

Letting Go with Love and Confidence

The ultimate goal of parenting is to “let go” —  to raise children who are prepared to navigate the world on their own but who also recognize that having strong and healthy family relationships are important for their well being. This book offers practical strategies on guiding children toward independence in a healthy way that pays attention to their capabilities and builds their skills.

Letting Go with Love and Confidence is about applying the principles of resilience.  It offers practical advice on the many everyday questions that challenge parents. When is my child ready to go to the mall? Handle a cell phone? Date? Parents reading this book will learn to tie the granting of new privileges to their adolescent’s growing capabilities and demonstrated responsibility.  The strategies offered in this book honor teenagers’ need for more independence while keeping them safe. This book also will help parents minimize conflicts thatcan harm healthy family relationships.