Resilience is about bouncing back. The challenge is to prepare kids to have the capacity to recover before anything actually goes wrong.

Resources

The following resources are offered so you can further explore areas of particular interest or concern. These resources are by no means exhaustive; many fine ones are not included. While I cannot endorse each point in every listed book or on every Web site, they all are of high quality.

ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT

  • Ginsburg KR, Fitzgerald S. Letting Go with Love and Confidence: Raising Responsible, Resilient, Self-Sufficient Teens in the 21st Century. New York, NY:
    Penguin Group; 2011
    This book guides parents to develop concrete step-by-step strategies to help adolescents navigate life’s challenges. It also addresses the emotional journey parents take as their children become increasingly independent.
  • Steinberg L. You and Your Adolescent: The Essential Guide for Ages 10-25. New rev ed. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster; 2011

ADOLESCENT HEALTH INFORMATION

  • Boston Children’s Hospital offers health information for teen girls and young women at www.youngwomenshealth.org and for teen boys and young men at www.youngmenshealthsite.org.
  •  Covenant House, a national organization, handles crisis and runaway issues. Counselors are available to offer guidance and support as well as to link to community services. Visit www.covenanthouse.org  or call 800/388-3888.

    Goryeb Children’s Hospital offers teen information with peer advice and oversight from clinical social workers, health educators, adolescent medicine physicians, and other health professionals at www.teenhealthfx.com.
  • Nemours, a pediatric health system, has a teen and parent health Web site at www.teenshealth.org/teen.
  • Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) (www.sadd.org) is a peer-to-peer education, prevention, and activism organization dedicated to preventing destructive decisions, particularly underage drinking, other drug use, risky and impaired driving, teen violence, and teen suicide.
  • The American Medical Association has published the following 2 paperback books especially for teens:
  • Middleman AB, Pfeifer KG. American Medical Association Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Teen. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass; 2006
  • Middleman AB, Pfeifer KG. American Medical Association Boy’s Guide to Becoming a Teen. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass; 2006
  • The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy site is http://thenationalcampaign.org.
  • The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids offers www.abovetheinfluence.com, which has far more than ideas to counter drug use.
  • The Web site www.fosteringresilience.com offers an overview of the 7 Cs model of resilience. It includes downloadable and printable materials that complement this book, including a teen stress-reduction plan and summary sheets that can be used in school and community forums.

BOYS AS SENSITIVE, CARING PEOPLE

  • Kindlon D, Thompson M. Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. New York, NY: Ballantine Books; 2000
  • Pollack W. Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. New York, NY: Henry Holt and Co; 1998
  • Way N. Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection. Cambridge, MA:Harvard University Press; 2011

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

General

  • Berkowitz MW. Parenting for Good. Boone, NC: Character Development Group; 2005
    Damon W. The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life. New York, NY: Free Press; 2008
  • Tough P. How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; 2012

Raising Children Without Prejudice

  • Mathias B, French MA. 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child. New York, NY: Harper Perennial; 1996
  • Stern-LaRosa C, Bettmann EH. The Anti-Defamation League’s Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice. New York, NY: Scholastic, Inc; 2000
  • The Southern Poverty Law Center has a program entitled “Teaching Tolerance” that offers a variety of resources (www.splcenter.org/what-we-do/teaching-tolerance).
  • The following Web site contains links to children’s books on diversity, multiculturalism, prejudice reduction, and related topics: www.understandingprejudice.org/readroom/kidsbib.htm.
  • A World of Difference Institute of the Anti-Defamation League recommends multicultural and antibias literature for children at www.adl.org/bibliography.

Schools

  • Berkowitz MW. You Can’t Teach Through a Rat and Other Epiphanies for Educators. Boone, NC: Character Development Group; 2012
  • Seider S. Character Compass: How Powerful School Culture Can Point Students Toward Success. Cambridge, MA: Harvard Education Press; 2012
  • Tough P. How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; 2012

CHILD DEVELOPMENT

The American Academy of Pediatrics publishes authoritative books to help parents understand and support healthy development through a child’s life span. These books can be previewed at http://shop.aap.org/books.

  • Child Play (and Adult Play)
    Brown S, Vaughan C. Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. New York, NY: Avery; 2009
  • Elkind D. The Power of Play: Learning What Comes Naturally. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Lifelong; 2007
  • Hallowell EM. The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy. New York, NY: Ballantine Books; 2002
  • Hirsh-Pasek K, Golinkoff RM, Eyer D. Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn—and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less. Emmaus, PA: Rodale Books; 2003
  • The Alliance for Childhood promotes policies and practices that support children’s healthy development, love of learning, and joy in living. Visit www.allianceforchildhood.org.

CHILD SAFETY

  • de Becker G. Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane). New York, NY: Dell Publishing; 1999

Prevention of Child Abuse and Exploitation

  • The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children offers a wide range of outstanding materials for children, teenagers, and parents to prepare them to navigate a world that can be exploitative to children. Visit www.ncmec.org.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

  • Goleman D. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York, NY: Bantam Books; 1995
  • Gottman J, DeClaire J. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting. New York, NY: Fireside; 1997

EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES

Illness, Death, and Grief

  • The Journey of Hearts Web site, www.journeyofhearts.org, offers information and links to a wide variety of resources and organizations that help children through loss, change, and grief.
  • Rauch PK, Muriel AC. Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child When a Parent is Sick. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill; 2006

Divorce

Terrorism and Disaster
Several authoritative organizations have published online materials for dealing with disasters. They often update materials for specific disasters. Go to the Web sites of the following organizations and follow prompts for terrorism or disasters:

INTERNET SAFETY

  • O’Keeffe GS. CyberSafe: Protecting and Empowering Kids in the Digital World of Texting, Gaming, and Social Media. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2011
  • The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children has materials written for teenagers (NSTeens) at www.nsteens.org and for parents (NetSmartz Workshop) at www.netsmartz.org/Parents.
  • For internet safety resources, visit the National Crime Prevention Council at www.ncpc.org/topics/internet-safety.

LISTENING

  • Faber A, Mazlish E. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. New York, NY: Scribner; 2012
  • Gordon T. Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press; 2000

MEDIA LITERACY AND SAFETY

  • Kilbourne J. Can’t Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster; 1999
  • Steyer JP. The Other Parent: The Inside Story of the Media’s Effect on Our Children. New York, NY: Atria Books; 2002
    Strasburger VC, Wilson BJ, Jordan AB. Children, Adolescents, and the Media. 3rd ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications; 2014
  • The Center on Media and Child Health at Boston Children’s Hospital, Harvard Medical School, and Harvard School of Public Health is dedicated to understanding and responding to the effects of media on the physical, mental, and social health of children through research, production, and education. Visit
    www.cmch.tv.
  • The Center for Media Literacy offers information, resources, and links at www.medialit.org.

MENTAL HEALTH

  • The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry offers information for psychiatrists and families about developmental, behavioral, emotional, and mental disorders affecting children and adolescents. Visit www.aacap.org.
  • The American Psychological Association offers information for psychologists and families on a wide variety of mental health concerns and special circumstances such as dealing with death, terrorism, or natural disasters. Visit www.apa.org.
  • The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism offers easy-to-read material for the public covering a wide range of alcohol-related topics. Visit www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications.
  • The National Institute on Drug Abuse has materials developed specifically for students and young adults at http://nida.nih.gov/students.html. More information about specific drugs is available at http://nida.nih.gov/drugpages.
  • The National Institute of Mental Health offers free, easy-to-read brochures and fact sheets on mental health issues at http://nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/index.shtml.

Finding a Mental Health Professional
Your child’s pediatrician or other health care professional, school counselor, or clergyperson can help you find a mental health professional who would be the right match for your child and family. If this is difficult, however, most mental health professional organizations have online referral networks.

United States

Canada

PARENTING BOOKS AND INFORMATION

  • The American Academy of Pediatrics official Web site for parents, HealthyChildren.org, has information for parents of babies, children, teens, and young adults. Visit www.healthychildren.org.

Perfectionism

  • Adderholdt M, Goldberg J. Perfectionism: What’s Bad About Being Too Good? Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing; 1999
  • Greenspon TS. Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing; 2002
  • Greenspon TS. What to Do When Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism: A Guide for Kids. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing; 2007

Physical Health

  • Ratey JJ, Hagerman E. Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. New York, NY: Little, Brown and Co; 2008
  • Stricker PR. Sports Success RX! Your Child’s Prescription for the Best Experience: How to Maximize Potential and Minimize Pressure. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2006

Nutrition

  • Jana LA, Shu J. Food Fights: Winning the Nutritional Challenges of Parenthood Armed With Insight, Humor, and a Bottle of Ketchup. 2nd ed. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2012
  • The US Department of Agriculture interactive www.ChooseMyPlate.gov allows users to individualize a nutrition plan.
  • The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases offers information on nutrition for parents (WIN: Weight-control Information Network) at www.win.niddk.nih.gov/publications/child.htm.
  • The Public Health Agency of Canada offers a guide for nutrition and activity for children and adolescents at www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/hp-ps/hl-mvs/pag-gap/index-eng.php.

RESILIENCE

Building Resilient Communities

  • Communities That Care is a system developed by J. David Hawkins, PhD, and Richard F. Catalano, PhD, that empowers communities to use advances from prevention science to guide their prevention efforts. The Communities That Care Web site is www.communitiesthatcare.net.
  • Kids at Hope is interested in helping families, youth-serving organizations, and communities create the kind of environment where all kids will thrive. Visit www.kidsathope.org.

    At the heart of the Search Institute’s work is the framework of 40 developmental assets that are positive experiences and personal qualities young people need to grow up healthy, caring, and responsible. To see the listed assets, go to www.search-institute.org/assets. The assets are modified for each developmental level.

Healthy, Optimistic, and Hopeful Thinking

  • Reivich K, Shatté A. The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life’s Hurdles. New York, NY: Broadway Books; 2002
  • Seligman MEP, Reivich K, Jaycox L, Gillham J. The Optimistic Child: A Proven Program to Safeguard Children Against Depression and Build Lifelong Resilience. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Co; 1995
  • Seligman MEP. Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. New York, NY: Free Press; 2011

Parenting Books

  • Benson PL. Sparks: How Parents Can Help Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass; 2008
  • Brooks R, Goldstein S. Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child. Chicago, IL: Contemporary Books; 2001
  • Cohen-Sandler R. Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure. New York, NY: Viking; 2005
  • Ginsburg KR, Ginsburg I, Ginsburg T. Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love With Expectations and Protection With Trust. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics. In press
  • Lerner RM. The Good Teen: Rescuing Adolescence from the Myths of the Storm and Stress Years. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press; 2007
  • Levine M. Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or “Fat Envelopes.” New York, NY: Harper Perennial; 2012
  • Mogel W. The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children. New York, NY: Penguin Compass; 2001
  • Mogel W. The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers. New York, NY:Scribner; 2010

Professional Development

  • Ginsburg KR, Kinsman SB, eds. Reaching Teens: Strength-Based Communication Strategies to Build Resilience and Support Healthy Adolescent Development. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2014
  • This multimedia body of work is intended for all youth-serving professionals and offers up to 65 continuing education credits for health professionals, social workers, and counselors. Reaching Teens includes 69 chapters and more than 400 videos. It can be used as a partner to Building Resilience so that community-based youth-serving professionals and parents are all working toward mutual goals of supporting positive youth development and resilience.

Web Site Resource

The Web site www.fosteringresilience.com offers an overview of the 7 Cs model of resilience. It includes downloadable and printable materials that complement this book, including a teen stress-reduction plan and summary sheets that can be used in school and community forums.

SEXUAL MINORITY YOUTH

  •  The GLBT National Health Center offers the GLBT National Youth Talkline at 800/246-PRIDE (7743) and online support and information at www.glnh.org.
  • Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) offers guidance and support if you believe that a young person you care for may be struggling with his or her sexual identity or if he or she shares a homosexual or bisexual orientation with you and you wish to learn how best to be supportive. Visit www.pflag.org or call 202/467-8180.
  • The Trevor Lifeline, a 24-hour crisis hotline for sexual minority youth, is available at 866/488-7386 and www.thetrevorproject.org.

STRESS AND THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION

  •  Benson H, Klipper MZ. The Relaxation Response. New York, NY: HarperTorch; 2000
    Herbert Benson coined the phrase relaxation response that is used in the stress-reduction plan offered in Building Resilience.
  • Sapolsky RM. Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. 3rd ed. New York, NY: Henry Holt and Co; 2004
    This classic book translates scientific evidence to help the reader understand the intricate connections between the mind and body.
  • Sterling P. Principles of allostasis: optimal design, predictive regulation, pathophysiology, and rational therapeutics. In: Schulkin J. Allostasis, Homeostasis, and the Costs of Physiological Adaptation. Cambridge, United Kingdom: Cambridge University Press; 2004:17–65
    This chapter is written for a scientific audience. If you can survive some of the jargon, it brilliantly and clearly makes the connection between the mind, emotions, and the body’s response.
  • Vo DX. The Mindful Teen: Powerful Skills to Help You Handle Stress One Moment at a Time (The Instant Help Solution Series).Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. In press
    This book is written for teenagers and clearly guides them to use the power of mindfulness to reduce stress and live more fully in the moment.

STRESS REDUCTION FOR TEENS

  • Hipp E. Fighting Invisible Tigers: Stress Management for Teens. 3rd ed rev. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing; 2008
    This book offers teenagers easily digestible information and concrete skills for stress reduction. It uses the same metaphor of tigers chasing us that is used in Chapter 42 of Building Resilience and therefore may be a natural next step for your adolescents.
  • Seaward BL, Bartlett LK. Hot Stones & Funny Bones: Teens Helping Teens Cope with Stress & Anger. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications; 2002
    This book may be particularly helpful for teenagers who feel isolated and may not know how common stress is among their peers.

SUCCESS. PRESSURES THAT INTERFERE WITH AUTHENTIC SUCCESS, AND OPPORTUNITIES TO ACHIEVE IT

  • Csikszentmihalyi M. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York, NY: Harper Perennial; 1990
  • Dweck CS. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York, NY: Ballantine Books; 2006
  • Elkind D. The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon. 25th anniversary ed. Cambridge, MA: De Capo Press; 2007
  • Ginsburg KR, Ginsburg I, Ginsburg T. Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love With Expectations and Protection With Trust. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics. In press
  • Hallowell EM. The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy. New York, NY: Ballantine Books; 2002
  • Hirsh-Pasek K, Golinkoff RM, Eyer D. Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn—and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less. Emmaus, PA: Rodale Books; 2003
  • Levine M. Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or “Fat Envelopes.” New York, NY: Harper Perennial; 2012
  • Levine M. The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids. New York, NY: Harper; 2006
  • Pope DC. “Doing School”: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed Out, Materialistic, and Miseducated Students. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press; 2001
  • Rosenfeld A, Wise N. The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap. New York, NY: St. Martin’s Griffin; 2000
  • Warner J. Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety. New York, NY: Riverhead Books; 2005

Organizations/Movements

  • Challenge Success is committed to championing a broader vision of success for youth. Its mission statement follows: “Challenge Success works with schools and families to develop research-based strategies that provide kids with the academic, social and emotional skills need to succeed now and in the future.” Visit www.challengesuccess.org.

TEEN DRIVING

  • The Web site www.teendriversource.org is produced by the Center for Injury Research and Prevention at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Research Institute. It has portals for teens, parents, and educators. It includes a site (http://parentingmyteendriver.org) that teaches parents how to apply authoritative parenting strategies to teen driving.
  • Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) (www.sadd.org) is a peer-to-peer education, prevention, and activism organization dedicated to preventing destructive decisions, particularly underage drinking, other drug use, risky and impaired driving, teen violence, and teen suicide. It houses the Contract for Life at http://sadd.org/contract.htm.

TEMPERAMENT

  • Carey WB, Jablow MM. Understanding Your Child’s Temperament. Rev ed. New York, NY: Macmillan; 2005


This material is an extension of Ginsburg KR, Jablow MM. Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings. 3rd ed. Elk Grove Village, IL: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2015.